Long time no see..

It has been a while, since I wrote.

My blog
I did not forget about my blog!
It is cruel to say that I did not have time to write!
I just had a lot on my mind and was not ready to write about it!

Sharing
It is even hard to share it with you all.
It is nothing bad, but some choices I had to make in life!
So who wants to know, will know, or can also contact me in PM.

In the meanwhile 
What I have been done?
The exams are done.
They were harder than expected.
The whole group sufferd a failure, but hey what doesn't kill you makes you stronger!
So we will not give up on nursing school!
The go-getters will survive!
And we still love doing it, but some people just underestimate nursing school :)!

Our home
Our new house is so nice!
We love being here!

January
January was a difficult month, I lost some hours from my job, so you know what that means financially!

So you can say I had a lot on my mind!

ACT
But I read a lot of things, and started my act/mindfulness group course!
I LOVE IT!
ACT means acceptance and commitment therapy!
It is very interesting and you notice that we all have problems!
So I like the people there but we have swore an oath of secrecy!
All I can say, if you need some inspiration: read books about it and go to a course.
You will so get to know yourself and face your fears, and make big decisions as I'm doing now!

Toxic people
I read a book about toxic people and how to deal with them!
Such a good book!

Some tips!
1)Breath breath breath when people annoy you!
2) If they joke or bully you, you could joke back, or say something embarrassing about them!
3) You can tell them straight on what is bothering you!
4) You can ask calming questions to drive them into a corner, so they can not go anywhere and have to explain themselves, what is embarrassing for them! Especially with liars!
5) You can make up stories about them how you would strangle them, without really doing it, but just relieving the anger, the fantasy story hehe!
6) You can tell your mind to stop thinking about them! Stop it!
7) UNPLUG! Get rid of them out of your live! THE HARDEST ONE! But sometimes there is no other choice!

Just buy and read
http://www.amazon.com/Toxic-People-Ways-Dealing-Miserable-ebook/dp/B011FFWNPS

It is really a good book!

Yes I have some toxic people in my live, I have tried everything to deal with them! Now I chose to unplug some people out of my life, especially the liars and pessimists! I can't take that anymore hehe!

So yes, Mindfulness/ACT is learning how to get rid of the demons inside your head, who are telling you bad things about yourself!
The toxic book is learning you how to get rid of people who are the demons in your life and head too!

So this is further my journey to a happy life, It can't be happy everyday, but it can be happier without some people and some thoughts!

Also a good site is http://www.marcandangel.com they also talk about a happy life and have some inspiring quotes!
I read them every day!

The rest of the time I'm trying to live by my values!

Colorectal cancer
I went to a congress about colon cancer! It is really important that people test themselves at age of 50! And earlier the ones who have it in the family! Here is a site in Dutch
http://www.stopdarmkanker.be you can also read it in French!
English I don't know, but if you need more information tell me! I will translate it for you!

Berlin
I went with Marko to Berlin, was such a beautiful experience and city!
We loved it!
We love to travel so!
In a next post I wil write some tips!
This is a blog about Berlin, you should visit it http://berlijn-blog.nl
It helped us really!

5 years with Marko
I wrote a nice blog about us, but Marko found it to intimate so I didn't post it, but we loved it and smiled about our nice memories! Hehe! I keep it in my diary!
Some memories I can share!
We met in Fazana, Croatia!
We love to travel!
We love to watch movies together, action movies.
We love our house hehe!
We had a rough time, he adapting in Belgium, I adapting to being a married woman.
But we support each other every day!
I love that he is a optimist! He loves everything in life, even chores at home hehe!
He supports me in everything I do, he loves that I studie and will make my office in the house!
I already bought some decoration:

My heart is grey hehe but it looks like this, I'm to lazy to take a picture!

And an other one

So nice no?

It reminds me every day to enjoy life!

I love my husband, and my life, my sisters!

We had a nice breakfast together the weekend before our date, and on that day 16/2/2016 we had a nice dinner at home! HOME SWEET HOME hehe!

Nursing auxiliary

And yes because I have lost some hours at my work due to students changing courses, I registered at an interim office as a health care assistant or nursing auxiliary (you help professional staff to look after patients in hospitals, nursing homes or in the community).

They call when they need someone and if I have the time I react tot the message and go do some extra work to compensate the hours I've lost :)!

It was really messy in my head, but when you get rid of the thoughts that are not helpful, you find the ones that are and they will give you strength to find solutions to your problems!

My first time working in a nursing home was really nice it was like practice but then getting paid hehe!

Everybody was nice!

The patients were nuns and very old, it is sad to see, so enjoy life now, because when you get old, everybody has to take care of you!

Thanks God there exist nice people as at that nursing home!

Follow your own path!! Even if it means going through the forest hehe!

And a big tip , something I read too!

When you have to choose one path or an other path?

Why choose at all?

Live the life you want too, you can have it all, it will not be easy, but why not having it all?

Here is a nice website too: http://jpmorganjr.com/how-to-choose-between-two-paths-in-life/

I love it when they say to follow your own path, to make your own path!

That is what I'm doing!

I love languages, I love nursing school and I want to be a mom with a career, why shouldn't I have it all? The big dilemma revealed!

And my languages helped me to win the book of the doctor who is helping people prevent to get colorectal cancer, because I know cyrillic!

So even in nursing my knowledge languages come in handy!

The more knowledge you have the better!

Be proud of yourself, get rid of toxic people in your life and have a lot of happy moments!

Live your life by your values!

Big kiss!

Socrates is so right! Love it!

I read this and I liked it immediately!

I marked the ones I like!

Socrates was one of the most influential philosophers of all time. His writings are not only inspirational, but they will make you question life in a very unique way.

Here are 24 Socrates quotes that will make you question life:

1) “The only true wisdom is in knowing you know nothing.”

My thoughts (Andrea): So true you have so much to learn!

2) “The unexamined life is not worth living.”

3) “There is only one good, knowledge, and one evil, ignorance.”

4) “I cannot teach anybody anything. I can only make them think”

5) “Be kind, for everyone you meet is fighting a hard battle.”

My thoughts (Andrea): I heard this one before, so cool he said it! Yes we all have our own battles!

6) “Strong minds discuss ideas, average minds discuss events, weak minds discuss people.”

My thoughts (Andrea): this explains a lot of things ! People who gossip are weak minds, it's a relief! Now it is clear to me :D!

7) “By all means marry; if you get a good wife, you’ll become happy; if you get a bad one, you’ll become a philosopher.”

My thoughts (Andrea): this one is funny haha!

8) “He who is not contented with what he has, would not be contented with what he would like to have.”

My thoughts (Andrea): nice one! Really helps me, If i'm not content with my job now, I will never be content with any job, so I need to be content and thankful for today! Thanks, nice one! Mindful!

9) “If you don’t get what you want, you suffer; if you get what you don’t want, you suffer; even when you get exactly what you want, you still suffer because you can’t hold on to it forever. Your mind is your predicament. It wants to be free of change. Free of pain, free of the obligations of life and death. But change is law and no amount of pretending will alter that reality.

My thoughts (Andrea): WAUW SO TRUE! When my wish came true to go to Belgrade, I got everything a really good scholarship a nice apartment, and yet I was lonely at first, then I started to enjoy it. And then when I moved back to Belgium, I missed Belgrade, so yes than I got married, finally Marko and I close together, and than I missed some me-time, it so true you want to be free of change and pain, but you have to suffer to have nice times too, because nice times as nice weather can't last every day, there are rainy days and there are sunny days and they are both necessary, the rainy ones to give the plants water, and the people who use it for their toiletwater, and there are sunny days necessary but that I don't have to explain hehe!

10) “Sometimes you put walls up not to keep people out, but to see who cares enough to break them down.”

11) “Wonder is the beginning of wisdom.”

12) “To find yourself, think for yourself.”

13) “Education is the kindling of a flame, not the filling of a vessel.”

14) “Know thyself.”

15) “Let him who would move the world first move himself.”

16) “The secret of happiness, you see, is not found in seeking more, but in developing the capacity to enjoy less.”

My thoughts (Andrea): I told you going back to the roots with mindfulness, even he already figured it out!

17) “The secret of change is to focus all of your energy, not on fighting the old, but on building the new.”

My thoughts (Andrea): Mindfulness to, let it be, don't fight your thoughts concentrate on fulfilling your dreams with your values.

18) “I am not an Athenian or a Greek, but a citizen of the world.”

My thoughts (Andrea):  WAAUW feel the same way, we are all citizens of the world!!

19) “Prefer knowledge to wealth, for the one is transitory, the other perpetual.”

20) “understanding a question is half an answer”

21) “True wisdom comes to each of us when we realize how little we understand about life, ourselves, and the world around us”

22) “He is richest who is content with the least, for content is the wealth of nature.”

23) “To be is to do”

24) “The mind is everything; what you think you become”

Source: http://expandedconsciousness.com/2015/05/12/these-24-socrates-quotes-will-make-you-question-life/

Love him so true so true!!

I love nursing! It was meant to be for me to become one!

I'm so proud that I decided to start nursing school in september 2013.
I always loved helping people with giving them medicines and care from when I was a little girl.
Someone fell then I ran to help him/her and take care of his/here wound.
So I should know it from the beginning!

But I love languages too!
So I can use my language skills to help heal more people in this world, not?
So I wanted to share this!

Because yesterday a inspiring nurse from America Donna Cardillo shared something from my blog on her page what really belongs to her. But she liked that I shared it. So it is nice!
She inspires me! She was a ER nurse, now she travels the world to inspire other nurses and giving them a positive self-image.
She really wants nurses to be happy with their job and to appreciate themselves and their profession!
So thank you!
Now people/nurses in America will  maybe read my blog, so I'm proud and happy!
I'll do my best to be myself and write nice blogs about health and everything that can make me or you happy but we have to live by our values!

And Saturday I wasn't happy, because I had some bad news!
But that is normal, now it is raining in Belgium!
So not every day can be a sunny happy day!
But I said to myself this Saturday you can be unhappy, but tomorrow is a new day!
And yesterday I was happy again, I let my body and myself mourn!

So yesterday I read the site of Donna Cardillo and it is really motivating to finish nursing school proudly!

Big kisses
Andrea

...Busy bee in 2016..Studying for nursing exams...

My dear friends,

I'm absent for a while on my blog.
I have inspiration to write, but now I'm focusing on maybe one day saving your life hehe!
I hope not, that you will live a long and healthy life!
So that is why I wish you a lot of health this new year, a lot of love and lovely memories with the people you love! And pursue your dreams, but enjoy every day that you're closer to your goal!
And live by your values of course, that is my motto, even if you're not doing what you hoped for, try to make every day a valued one. If you like helping people, help someone every day/week.
Do the things that make you happy, and not only big things but enjoy the small things, like a dinner with a good friend, or a walk with your dog, or a nice movie with your partner!
I enjoyed New Year really with my family, friends and my husband! Thank you!
It was so fun!

Happy couple in 2016!

Makes me so happy this picture

I loved celebrating New Year, because it was really a new beginning in our new house.
The living room was really not ready haha, but we made it a party room!
Everybody was in a good mood and Anita my sister was the party maker, dj and she made everybody dance! Thank you siss! Angela and Lucho were the photographs, so beautiful pictures! Thank you!
Normally I think o New Year, everybody has to celebrate it, it is commercial, and so many wasted people, annoying! But now I organized the party, and I really love when there are party in small rooms with the people who know you and love you, and you love them, then it is always a blast!
So super party! Super beginning of a New Year!

2015 I loved it, it was really a successful year, a lot of love, a lot of traveling, a lot of getting to know myself, mindfulness, the blog, my love for my family and husband, but also again appreciating and loving myself, my values and my talents!

And I'm looking forward to 2016, living in our new house, becoming a nurse, helping people, but I read don't tell your good intentions to everyone because you wan't make them true because you're thinking you are already there, okay maybe a part is true, but why shouldn't you share them?
I'm tired of hiding!
I was hiding that I studied nursing school, I was scared for the reactions, but why? It is not anyones business why you do something! If it is matches with your values just pursue it and be proud of it!
And I'm proud of it!
I'm so tired that people look down on nursing!
Maybe we're not doctors, but that doesn't mean we are dumb!
We are smart and hardworking people and caring!
We just approach medicine and people on a different way!
We spent more time looking on the needs of the person in the hospital to make their stay nice, to defend their rights, and help them heal. We help the doctors, we help the patients, and we save lives too!
And If you would see what I'm studying now for the exams, you would be very surprised and  amazed that nursing is more than only washing people!

I love nursing and healthcare so much!
I'm looking forward to become a nurse.
That is why I'm looking forward to september 2016 because then I will start I hope my nursing internship.
First I have an internship end march, beginning april in a hospital in Antwerp on psycho-geriatric.
We will see.
It is a challenge.
Nursing is a very practical job so you have to be handy!
And I discovered my secret talents!
That I'm handy, that my teacher said she would love to be my patient, that I'm doing a good job in the skilsslab!
So it's positive studying your whole life!
Life is a school! You learn every day!
So yes I'm studying now!

Keep your fingers crossed for me!

Here are some nice nursing quotes and others!

Thanks for liking my site on Facebook!
Live by your values!!

My values: helping people, traveling, learning new things, carrying for other people and the nature and your health, enjoying time with your family, partner and friends!

Be who you are!

You made them feel important!

We have to know everything!

You can tell us everything!

Do your thing!

Love the job!

Helps me through the hard times!

Love you family, Marko, friends!

Know that feeling, always saying don't do that, and afterwards saying o she has the dream life!

This has a nurse to know!

This is your heart!

Amen to that!

Toen ik net in Belgrado was oktober 2011..Mijn droom sinds mijn 14 jaar...

Dit had ik geschreven als toen info over mezelf en dan heb ik de blog vernieuwd en aangepast aan mijn leven nu!

Dus dat het niet kwijt gaat!

"Mijn droom is uitgekomen!

Sinds mijn 14 jaar droomde ik om een jaar in Belgrado te wonen/studeren! Eindelijk is die droom uitgekomen!

3 jaar heb ik gevochten om via de Basileus-beurs in Belgrado te mogen studeren! Dit jaar is het eindelijk gelukt! Ik zit sinds maandag 26 september 2011 in Belgrado voor een jaar. Ik ga hier studeren aan de faculteit Politieke Wetenschappen, Master: Europese Integratie! Hier wil ik dit avontuur met jullie delen! Jullie worden mijn dagboek ;o)! (4de ondertussen!)

Dikkee zoeen!"

Never give up!

*-The worst thing you can do is become cold because of past experiences and ruin your future experiences!-*



*-Let go of the past and the past will let go of you-*



*-Stop being afraid of what could go wrong and think of what could go right!-*

*-Elke dag iets leren, is kennis. Elke dag iets loslaten, is wijsheid.-*

7 STRANGE QUESTIONS THAT HELP YOU FIND YOUR LIFE PURPOSE

September 18, 201414 minute readby Mark Manson

One day, when my brother was 18, he waltzed into the living room and proudly announced to my mother and me that one day he was going to be a senator. My mom probably gave him the “That’s nice, dear,” treatment while I’m sure I was distracted by a bowl of Cheerios or something.

But for fifteen years, this purpose informed all of my brother’s life decisions: what he studied in school, where he chose to live, who he connected with and even what he did with many of his vacations and weekends.

And now, after almost half a lifetime of work later, he’s the chairman of a major political party in his city and the youngest judge in the state. In the next few years, he hopes to run for office for the first time.

Don’t get me wrong. My brother is a freak. This basically never happens.

Most of us have no clue what we want to do with our lives. Even after we finish school. Even after we get a job. Even after we’re making money. Between ages 18 and 25, I changed career aspirations more often than I changed my underwear. And even after I had a business, it wasn’t until I was 28 that I clearly defined what I wanted for my life.

Chances are you’re more like me and have no clue what you want to do. It’s a struggle almost every adult goes through. “What do I want to do with my life?” “What am I passionate about?” “What do I not suck at?” I often receive emails from people in their 40s and 50s who still have no clue what they want to do with themselves.

Part of the problem is the concept of “life purpose” itself. The idea that we were each born for some higher purpose and it’s now our cosmic mission to find it. This is the same kind of shitty logic used to justify things like spirit crystals or that your lucky number is 34 (but only on Tuesdays or during full moons).

Here’s the truth. We exist on this earth for some undetermined period of time. During that time we do things. Some of these things are important. Some of them are unimportant. And those important things give our lives meaning and happiness. The unimportant ones basically just kill time.

So when people say, “What should I do with my life?” or “What is my life purpose?” what they’re actually asking is: “What can I do with my time that is important?”

This is an infinitely better question to ask. It’s far more manageable and it doesn’t have all of the ridiculous baggage that the “life purpose” question does. There’s no reason for you to be contemplating the cosmic significance of your life while sitting on your couch all day eating Doritos. Rather, you should be getting off your ass and discovering what feels important to you.

One of the most common email questions I get is people asking me what they should do with their lives, what their “life purpose” is. This is an impossible question for me to answer. After all, for all I know, this person is really into knitting sweaters for kittens or filming gay bondage porn in their basement. I have no clue. Who am I to say what’s right or what’s important to them?

But after some research, I have put together a series of questions to help you figure out for yourself what is important to you and what can add more meaning to your life.

These questions are by no means exhaustive or definitive. In fact, they’re a little bit ridiculous. But I made them that way because discovering purpose in our lives should be something that’s fun and interesting, not a chore.

1. WHAT’S YOUR FAVORITE FLAVOR OF SHIT SANDWICH AND DOES IT COME WITH AN OLIVE?

Ah, yes. The all-important question. What flavor of shit sandwich would you like to eat? Because here’s the sticky little truth about life that they don’t tell you at high school pep rallies:

Everything sucks, some of the time.

Now, that probably sounds incredibly pessimistic of me. And you may be thinking, “Hey Mr. Manson, turn that frown upside down.” But I actually think this is a liberating idea.

Everything involves sacrifice. Everything includes some sort of cost. Nothing is pleasurable or uplifting all of the time. So the question becomes: what struggle or sacrifice are you willing to tolerate? Ultimately, what determines our ability to stick with something we care about is our ability to handle the rough patches and ride out the inevitable rotten days.

If you want to be a brilliant tech entrepreneur, but you can’t handle failure, then you’re not going to make it far. If you want to be a professional artist, but you aren’t willing to see your work rejected hundreds, if not thousands of times, then you’re done before you start. If you want to be a hotshot court lawyer, but can’t stand the 80-hour workweeks, then I’ve got bad news for you.

What unpleasant experiences are you able to handle? Are you able to stay up all night coding? Are you able to put off starting a family for 10 years? Are you able to have people laugh you off the stage over and over again until you get it right?

What shit sandwich do you want to eat? Because we all get served one eventually.

Might as well pick one with an olive.

2. WHAT IS TRUE ABOUT YOU TODAY THAT WOULD MAKE YOUR 8-YEAR-OLD SELF CRY?

When I was a child, I used to write stories. I used to sit in my room for hours by myself, writing away, about aliens, about superheroes, about great warriors, about my friends and family. Not because I wanted anyone to read it. Not because I wanted to impress my parents or teachers. But for the sheer joy of it.

And then, for some reason, I stopped. And I don’t remember why.

We all have a tendency to lose touch with what we loved as a child. Something about the social pressures of adolescence and professional pressures of young adulthood squeezes the passion out of us. We’re taught that the only reason to do something is if we’re somehow rewarded for it.

It wasn’t until I was in my mid-20s that I rediscovered how much I loved writing. And it wasn’t until I started my business that I remembered how much I enjoyed building websites — something I did in my early teens, just for fun.

The funny thing though, is that if my 8-year-old self had asked my 20-year-old self, “Why don’t you write anymore?” and I replied, “Because I’m not good at it,” or “Because nobody would read what I write,” or “Because you can’t make money doing that,” not only would I have been completely wrong, but that 8-year-old boy version of myself would have probably started crying.

3. WHAT MAKES YOU FORGET TO EAT AND POOP?

We’ve all had that experience where we get so wrapped up in something that minutes turn into hours and hours turn into “Holy crap, I forgot to have dinner.”

Supposedly, in his prime, Isaac Newton’s mother had to regularly come in and remind him to eat because he would go entire days so absorbed in his work that he would forget.

I used to be like that with video games. This probably wasn’t a good thing. In fact, for many years it was kind of a problem. I would sit and play video games instead of doing more important things like studying for an exam, or showering regularly, or speaking to other humans face-to-face.

It wasn’t until I gave up the games that I realized my passion wasn’t for the games themselves (although I do love them). My passion is for improvement, being good at something and then trying to get better. The games themselves — the graphics, the stories — they were cool, but I can easily live without them. It’s the competition — with others, but especially with myself — that I thrive on.

And when I applied that obsessiveness for improvement and self-competition to an internet business and to my writing, well, things took off in a big way.

Maybe for you, it’s something else. Maybe it’s organizing things efficiently, or getting lost in a fantasy world, or teaching somebody something, or solving technical problems. Whatever it is, don’t just look at the activities that keep you up all night, but look at the cognitive principles behind those activities that enthrall you. Because they can easily be applied elsewhere.

4. HOW CAN YOU BETTER EMBARRASS YOURSELF?

Before you are able to be good at something and do something important, you must first suck at something and have no clue what you’re doing. That’s pretty obvious. And in order to suck at something and have no clue what you’re doing, you must embarrass yourself in some shape or form, often repeatedly. And most people try to avoid embarrassing themselves, namely because it sucks.

Ergo, due to the transitive property of awesomeness, if you avoid anything that could potentially embarrass you, then you will never end up doing something that feels important.

Yes, it seems that once again, it all comes back to vulnerability.

Right now, there’s something you want to do, something you think about doing, something you fantasize about doing, yet you don’t do it. You have your reasons, no doubt. And you repeat these reasons to yourself ad infinitum.

But what are those reasons? Because I can tell you right now that if those reasons are based on what others would think, then you’re screwing yourself over big time.

If your reasons are something like, “I can’t start a business because spending time with my kids is more important to me,” or “Playing Starcraft all day would probably interfere with my music, and music is more important to me,” then OK. Sounds good.

But if your reasons are, “My parents would hate it,” or “My friends would make fun of me,” or “If I failed, I’d look like an idiot,” then chances are, you’re actually avoiding something you truly care about because caring about that thing is what scares the shit out of you, not what mom thinks or what Timmy next door says.

Living a life avoiding embarrassment is akin to living a life with your head in the sand.

Great things are, by their very nature, unique and unconventional. Therefore, to achieve them, we must go against the herd mentality. And to do that is scary.

Embrace embarrassment. Feeling foolish is part of the path to achieving something important, something meaningful. The more a major life decision scares you, chances are the more you need to be doing it.

5. HOW ARE YOU GOING TO SAVE THE WORLD?

In case you haven’t seen the news lately, the world has a few problems. And by “a few problems,” what I really mean is, “everything is fucked and we’re all going to die.”

I’ve harped on this before, and the research also bears it out, but to live a happy and healthy life, we must hold on to values that are greater than our own pleasure or satisfaction.1

So pick a problem and start saving the world. There are plenty to choose from. Our screwed up education systems, economic development, domestic violence, mental health care, governmental corruption. Hell, I just saw an article this morning on sex trafficking in the US and it got me all riled up and wishing I could do something. It also ruined my breakfast.

Find a problem you care about and start solving it. Obviously, you’re not going to fix the world’s problems by yourself. But you can contribute and make a difference. And that feeling of making a difference is ultimately what’s most important for your own happiness and fulfillment.

Now, I know what you’re thinking. “Gee Mark, I read all of this horrible stuff and I get all pissed off too, but that doesn’t translate to action, much less a new career path.”

Glad you asked…

6. GUN TO YOUR HEAD, IF YOU HAD TO LEAVE THE HOUSE ALL DAY, EVERY DAY, WHERE WOULD YOU GO AND WHAT WOULD YOU DO?

For many of us, the enemy is just old-fashioned complacency. We get into our routines. We distract ourselves. The couch is comfortable. The Doritos are cheesy. And nothing new happens.

This is a problem.

What most people don’t understand is that passion is the result of action, not the cause of it.2, 3

Discovering what you’re passionate about in life and what matters to you is a full-contact sport, a trial-and-error process. None of us know exactly how we feel about an activity until we actually do the activity.

So ask yourself, if someone put a gun to your head and forced you to leave your house every day for everything except for sleep, how would you choose to occupy yourself? And no, you can’t just go sit in a coffee shop and browse Facebook. You probably already do that. Let’s pretend there are no useless websites, no video games, no TV. You have to be outside of the house all day every day until it’s time to go to bed — where would you go and what would you do?

Sign up for a dance class? Join a book club? Go get another degree? Invent a new form of irrigation system that can save the thousands of children’s lives in rural Africa? Learn to hang glide?

What would you do with all of that time?

If it strikes your fancy, write down a few answers and then, you know, go out and actually do them. Bonus points if it involves embarrassing yourself.

7. IF YOU KNEW YOU WERE GOING TO DIE ONE YEAR FROM TODAY, WHAT WOULD YOU DO AND HOW WOULD YOU WANT TO BE REMEMBERED?

Most of us don’t like thinking about death. It freaks us out. But thinking about our own death surprisingly has a lot of practical advantages. One of those advantages is that it forces us to zero in on what’s actually important in our lives and what’s just frivolous and distracting.

When I was in college, I used to walk around and ask people, “If you had a year to live, what would you do?” As you can imagine, I was a huge hit at parties. A lot of people gave vague and boring answers. A few drinks were nearly spit on me. But it did cause people to really think about their lives in a different way and re-evaluate what their priorities were.

This man’s headstone will read: “Here lies Greg. He watched every episode of ’24’… twice.”

What is your legacy going to be? What are the stories people are going to tell when you’re gone? What is your obituary going to say? Is there anything to say at all? If not, what would you like it to say? How can you start working towards that today?

And again, if you fantasize about your obituary saying a bunch of badass shit that impresses a bunch of random other people, then again, you’re failing here.

When people feel like they have no sense of direction, no purpose in their life, it’s because they don’t know what’s important to them, they don’t know what their values are.

And when you don’t know what your values are, then you’re essentially taking on other people’s values and living other people’s priorities instead of your own. This is a one-way ticket to unhealthy relationships and eventual misery.

Discovering one’s “purpose” in life essentially boils down to finding those one or two things that are bigger than yourself, and bigger than those around you. And to find them you must get off your couch and act, and take the time to think beyond yourself, to think greater than yourself, and paradoxically, to imagine a world without yourself.

Source: http://markmanson.net/life-purpose

Footnotes

1. Sagiv, L., & Schwartz, S. H. (2000). Value priorities and subjective well-being: direct relations and congruity effects. European Journal of Social Psychology, 30(2), 177–198.↵
2. Wrzesniewski, A., McCauley, C., Rozin, P., & Schwartz, B. (1997). Jobs, careers, and callings: People’s relations to their work. Journal of Research in Personality, 31(1), 21–33.↵
3. Newport, C. (2012). So Good They Can’t Ignore You: Why Skills Trump Passion in the Quest for Work You Love. Business Plus.↵