Wednesday, January 18, 2017

When reality hits you: How I'm experiencing my pregnancy: part two

Part one was a long post and isn't finished yet so I decided to divide it in three posts..
Part one= the decision to get pregnant and the first trimester
Part two= the second trimester
Part three= the third trimester..

So we came back from vacation..
Some stuff had to be done..

August - September 2016
We came home.
Marko had to work.
I had still vacation.

Internship
Normally I had to start my internship 19/8/2016
I had to go to the doctor of the school, to get a check up If I could do my internship.
I had to start on pediatrics.
My gynecologist said It probably would be okay!
The doctor of the school decided otherwise. 
He said it is forbidden because of Cytomegalovirus (CMV). Little children can pass it on and it is dangerous for pregnant woman, for their foetus. I was immune, but anyway it could come back. So I was very disappointed but hopefull that I would get an other department.
I thought I could do my first semester of internship in nursing, that was until the end of December 2016, and in January 2017 I would be free, end of February 2016 I would give birth, and than be home with the baby, and in September 2017 I would start my last semester of internship in nursing, so I would just postpone my studied one semester...
That was a good agreement with myself.
Because first I wanted to finish the internship and get pregnant afterwards as I told in my previous posts, but when your biological clock starts waking up...I had postponed it already for too long...There would always be a reason to postpone pregnancy for people like me...

No internship for me
So I went to talk to my mentor of the nursing school, bad news, you can only do your internship until you're 24 weeks pregnant, I was already 12 at the time. He couldn't find in time an other department because we are obliged to do 16 weeks of internship in a row, you couldn't split it. I also didn't tell the school earlier because I was scared of miscarriage due the bleedings I had. And they say when you pass the three months you're safe. So I waited to tell them..
I WAS FURIOUS DISSAPOINTED A REAL EXPECTATION HANGOVER! I recommend the book! Because that is what happend to me, I assumed something, but things don't always go the way you want, and now when I'm 35 weeks, I almost forgot about it, but I see now it is for the best...
I was very tired and gained wait fast, and I didn't know If I could handle the stress and the speed of an internship.
It isn't the same as working, you really have to do your best and to prove yourself, so I calmed myself and told myself it is for the best..Poor baby, but I told myself whatever happens in my life I will not blame the baby! It was my own choice. Sometimes I say to my husband, it is all because of you, but that is not true, sometimes it just feels good to blame someone else, but it is my own decision  I could gotten pregnant faster, you never know..So I accepted..and went searching for a job, because what am I going to do? I can't stay home for the whole pregnancy...

First exams and search for daycare and work
As you remember I had still two exams to pass for nursing school and 3 examens for my study orthodox theology...
So while being disappointed I was also studying and searching for a daycare for the baby, because you can't start soon enough. I already had sent mails in July before we went on vacation, and made appointments for after the vacation, but the place we went first to had no room. I searched for september of 2017, so more as a year in advance, and still they were occupied. We live in Antwerp, a busy city, with a lot of working parents, and not a lot of room in the daycare. But the one who seeks will find. So I found one...It looks nice, two sisters and their sister-in-law run it. Their children went or are still going there as well. And when I went to see it with my sister, because the tour they give is during the hours my husband works, the children were really enjoying themselves and I ran into a on old friend, and her second child was already going their, so okay...! Everything was perfect, except for Friday's they work untill 17.00 and other days untill 18.00 and that could be a problem a few Friday's a month, because my husband can't make it on time to pick the baby up. So we tried at a third childcare, from the city Antwerp, because the others are private childcares. But they work with the same system. They calculate how much your husband and you earn and than on the basis of that calculation they know how much your daily price will going to be. The city day care had no room at all, then we tried a fourth one because of that Friday and they had room from december 2017 that wasn't an option either. 

Parental leave
So for every problem is a solution, and in Belgium there is the opportunity for man and woman to take four months of parental leave, the mother has 15 weeks of maternity leave plus 4 months of parental leave, the latter you can use until your child turns 12. You don't have to take it immediately. So my husband could take every Friday off during 2 years. 
You can choose three options, 
1)you take the four months at once or you split them up, but you have to take a month in a row, you can't say today I'll take a day of or two weeks, no it has to be a period of a month minimum and maximum 4 months
2) you can choose to work part time, minimum during periods of 2 months, maximum during 8 months. So until your child turns 12 you can work parttime in periods..
3) you can choose to work 4/5, so one day a week off, during almost 2 years, you can also split them up in period of 5 months..
My husband probably will choose the latter if I start my internship in september 2017. He would do this during 5 months or 10 months, it depends financially, because I'll maybe do the first 16 weeks of internship from september 2017 until december 2017, and than work for 6 months, and than the last semester from september 2018 until december 2018, but what I have learned during this pregnancy you can't plan, you just go with the flow day by day!
Because an other disappointment came along and that is why we had to change plans, is that the organization who would help us nursing students financially decided to stop with that from January 2017. So for those who started in september 2017, they would support them, but for those who started in 2017, not anymore. And financial support ment pay the tuition, daycare, uniform, books... That would mean a lot. Because I wouldn't have a pay or scholarship, but because I always have a temporary contract in education, when it ends I get unemployment benefits, and that stays for a year the same, but you have to prove you're studying or searching for work, so it would be the same amount during my studies. But now with a baby and daycare to pay, and no help from that organization I don't know if it will be enough to pay all or expenses.
Because afterwards I was happy I could go back to work from 3 of October until 4 of January, because your paycheck is much more than a unemployment benefit. Because we had to renovate, and buy all the babystuff, so with a unemployment benefit it wouldn't be enough.

Nursing exams
The exams of nursing didn't went well, I was like OH MY GOD I'm always studying, I studied on our honeymoon, I studied while married, while pregnant,...a studyholic! One exam I really hoped to pass, but it was multiple-choice and I suck at it. The other was oral exam. They weren't so friendly, and were surprised I didn't annul the exam. Because we had the option, to annul 3 exams during the whole study, I already annulled 2 exams in the first year, in the second year I passed all, and in the third year I hoped also to do that, but too bud I still had two exams, I could only annul one, so I said, I will try both, you never know, and then I still didn't pass both, I thought it was because of my pregnancy brain, but my 4 friends who had to do the same exams, didn't pass as well, they were just to severe, they had enough points to annul them both, I didn't...I decided to annul the oral exam, because the professor was a real pain in the ass, and It wasn't worth the stress pregnant, I really hoped it didn't harm the baby, but luckily it didn't. I could do the one multiple-exam in Januari 2017 again, but I decided to not do that, I didn't want the stress one month before I gave birth, and it was as if I know I wouldn't be able to that, because with my pelvic instability I can't sit long. And also I really liked to enjoy the holiday's without studying. And if I didn't pass I had to do it again in August 2017, and we went to baptize the baby than in Bosnia, and we also have a wedding in September 2017, so I said, I will do that exam in Januari 2018 while I'm doing my internship, than I'm back in the game!

Theology exams
The three exams of theology I passed with excellent results, I remember the subject matter better, also because I'm already a orthodox theology teacher 4 years, the most themes I gave my students. One exam was difficult, but I passed it excellent anyway, so proud and happy I was!
I still had 2 exams of theology to pass the first semester and one the second semester while being a mom, two in November normally and one in May. I decided to do them while pregnant and being a mom, because I learned them easier, they weren't so stressful for me, because they were about God, and the professors are really nice to you on the exams, so you stay calm. But because of the Pelvic Instability, I couldn't go do the exams in November. I wrote the paper, I still have to defend it orally. One I passed because It required your presence but because I had a medical certificate I was legitimately absent. I got the audio and course book at home and read it myself.
So I will do exams as a mother also hehe! In May!

September I was at home, I really enjoyed that month of pregnancy! 
I got my energy back. I went to see friend I didn't see in a long time. I rode my bike, it was so beautiful and hot weather. I went for walks/easy runs. I enjoyed it really.
My birthday is 15th of September, that day I'm always happy.
We had friends over.
We went with my parents, sisters and niece to a restaurant, because my father his birthday is also that day. I'm his present from my birth...
We had a photoshoot and announced the pregnancy on Facebook. 
I loved september of my pregnancy!
I accepted everything.
And also found a job, because when I went to do the exams theology, a colleague had to give birth in October, so she asked me if I would do her hours while she was on maternity leave, she gave birth two weeks early.
I was so happy, almost a fulltime, and we could really use the money and I time would pass faster, and I would be useful.
So that was settled too.
I started with the pregnancy swimming and pregnancy yoga.
It was a nice start of things!

First I was disappointed to work again as an orthodox theology teacher, and that in primary school, I prefer to work in secondary school. But I learned to accept and realized that everything happens for a reason. I learned a lot from this experience. When one doors closes the other opens...

September I love you!

Too be continued in the third part...

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